That’s what Patrick is feeling like screaming at me lately. Though he doesn’t – he is way too sweet to do so. I do deserve it, though. I made plans several months ago to move out of this room, which is supposed to be a dining room, but, functions as my office. I decided that I would give this room to Patrick so that for the boys’ last few years here, at least, they could each have their own rooms. I have been wanting to give them their own rooms for a long time and it has just never worked out.

I think we have finally figured it out, though. Mark had built me a wall, blocking off the living room from this room and so, while doorless, it could function as a perfectly good bedroom. (And it will perfectly facilitate midnight kitchen raids for ravenously hungry teens, as well.) Mark is going to give up the space in the corner of the living room where he had his desk and computer and I will set up shop there. I’ll have my desk and one bookshelf. Now what to do with the rest of all this stuff?

Well, I figured, I’ve got plenty of boxes that I still haven’t been able to unpack since moving here in 2006 – and though I’ve missed ‘my stuff’ – I have managed fine without it. So I will just add some more stuff to the ‘Lisa’s packed up stuff’ section of the basement. I will leave out important business books, industry magazines, training materials, and of course all of my My Very Own Mail supplies. And maybe a few precious books that I just don’t want to be without. And the rest will just get packed up.

So why haven’t I just DONE IT, then? Well, have you ever seen the show about those people that hoard? I’m afraid I’m a wee bit like those people. In my defense, this room has never been set up or outfitted with enough shelves or furniture that could help me organize my stuff. But I am about as sentimental as they come. So anyhoo, my stuff is quite a mess. It’s overwhelming to try to figure out where to start. I have ‘started’ a few times, but, haven’t gotten much done. Then life swings a curveball my way – migraines, sicknesses, and all the milliontyseventy obligations of family life…and then I don’t touch it for a week or two…or seven…


I am bound and determined to get this done, though. And I shall. And it is going to be so cool. The bunk beds can finally just be ‘beds’. I’ve wondered since we bought those things, years ago, what they’d look like as ‘just beds’. And the boys will have their own space and their own closets. Well, except there really is no closet in here, but, I think he’s taking the dresser.

The only thing I can’t quite figure out is how mornings are going to work. I get up every day at five in the morning. Every day. And my alarm clock is in the kitchen. And the first place I go in the morning is the kitchen. For coffee and breakfast. And there is this big open doorway….

We have discussed different solutions for this, even before deciding to give this room to Patrick. There is a door hinge in the doorway where in the past a swinging door was hung. I’m not even sure if the swinging door is still here. I think Mark might have said it’s still in the garage, but, a swinging door would not give Patrick much privacy, I don’t think.

We’ve also discussed installing a sliding door, because there really might not be enough room for a typical bedroom door. I was thinking of those kind of sliding doors they made in the 60s and 70s, that actually slid into the wall. One of our friends, though, had suggested a sliding ‘barn’ door. Really. A barn door. Well, ok, they are for houses, but, they are made in the same style and fashion as a barn door. Mark thought that was a pretty good idea.

So we will see what happens. I expect that Patrick will just have a door-less room for a while. He could do what I did during the summer when I needed to work and make sure the little girls stayed out. I hung a beach towel across the doorway. The girls knew that if the towel was up, Aunt Lisa was not to be interrupted. I may have to loan him my beach towel for a while. Heh.

Wish me luck and motivation to get this done!

P. S. Patrick insists that I add to this post that ‘door hinge rhymes with orange’. So …there ya go. Door hinge rhymes with orange.

This house. Oh, this house. I just got through telling you about the oh-so-loverly old kitchen appliances we have …and I go to take a shower and it is, yet again, tepid very quickly! This is a two story house with most of the house on the second floor. The garage is on the bottom floor and the water heater is in the garage. The kitchen sink is directly above the water heater – so you better be darn careful when you want to use hot water in the kitchen. We get scalded all. the. time.

Then you have the upstairs bathroom (well, there are two, but, one you can’t shower in – don’t get me started) and it is on the opposite end of the house from the kitchen. So the hot water heater is a good distance from the place where I would like some hot water to pour over my head and over my body and let me bask in its loveliness. So that loveliness doesn’t really happen. Unless, of course, you count the first forty-five seconds of the shower. (To be fair, it lasts a little longer than that, but, NOT MUCH! I am so not even kidding.

You cannot take a bath, because, by the time the bath would fill up – the water would be freezing cold. My daughter sometimes gives in and takes a bath in 2-3 inches of water, just because she really wants a bath. Oh boy, do I ever miss a good, hot bubble bath! (We’ve been here 3 1/2 years in this house.) So it’s a temperature problem, but, also a ‘water pressure’ problem. My husband tells me not to call it that, because, it’s not really water pressure. Very little water comes out very gently. I’m no plumber, but, I call that water pressure. And that is the main problem that the original owner, John, had so many plumbers out here for – and none of them could ever fix it.

So let’s get back to this afternoon, shall we? I’m in my shower – it’s hot at the moment – and I’m hurriedly shaving, because we all know what happens when you shave in cold water. So I always try to shave first. And quickly. And we all know what happens when you shave quickly! Yes – blood. Not a ton of it this time, thank goodness. A few weeks ago, I almost took off my entire ankle bone! Ouch! This time I’ve cut both knees, but, not very badly. Before I’m done shaving, and remember this is what I’ve done first, I lose the warmth in the water temperature.

I finished hacking up shaving my legs and I decide I need to really boogie, since it’s getting cold. I reach up for my rag that’s hanging on the towel bar in the shower…. (why in the hell do they put towel bars in showers???) ….I grab the rag and ….

OH MY GAWD! MOTHER FREAKER! @#$#@%#$%#**^%%F#!!!!!!!!

A damn roach falls off the rag – the little turd was sitting on my rag!!! Damn, ya’ll! You wanna talk about waking me up! Damn! I was screaming and cussing and carrying on!! Scared me half to death!

Now listen, I don’t do roaches. They’re out of my jurisdiction. Can’t handle it. I mean, I’m not exactly into killing anything, but, roaches – no, they can just go their own way. If Mark is home, I call him. Otherwise – they can just boogie on their way – outta my site. They’re creepy, ya’ll. They survived the dinosaurs. They crunch when you try to kill them. Then they stand up and put their dukes up for more. You throw ‘em down the toilet – and they come back up. The creep factor is just way too high here for me to deal with. Also, one time, I got down really close to one and watched it eat a Cheerio. He was holding it in both ‘hands’ and he made a little bite out of it – like you’d see a donut with a bite out of it. Call me a weirdo (everybody does – it’s ok) but, that sort of ‘humanized’ them to me. And damn, now I really can’t kill them. And picking them up and moving them is out of the question, too. I do that with a lot of bugs – just take ‘em right outside. Spiders and roaches – no! Why? Because they freaking RUN off the piece of paper or whatever you have them on!!! Creep factor, people.

So I’m in the shower trying to dance around this stoopid roach and just VERY QUICKLY finish my shower and every time it comes near me – I scream like those dumb girls on horror flicks. *oh the shame* So this is multiple screams, mucho, mucho swearing – and my kids don’t even blink. After quite a bit of it, my daughter does eventually come to the door and shout at me, “Mom, what is going on in there?!” It’s just so funny that they’re so used to my crazy weirdness (see? I told you everyone calls me weird) that it didn’t even faze them that Mom’s in the bathroom screaming and cussing like some hot coed about to be hacked by a ski-mask-wearing psycho. (hot coed – yeah, that’s me. I like that.) And no, Mother, I did not cuss in front of my children. That would imply that they were in the shower with me, and that’s just gross! *Lisa ducks and runs*

Cold shower with a roach! Boy, I’m living in the lap of luxury! Hahaha! I wish I was back at the Millenium Maxwell House Hotel in Nashville – remember I told you about those lovely, HOT showers I took there! That place ROCKED!

You know what the big bummer is here? We’ve only so far had ants in the house. Any roaches were in the garage. That’s Mark’s jurisdiction. I can live with that. Not a problem. And besides, he knows how (and can handle) getting rid of them. The minute that boy gets home, I’m going to whine like a baby that he get them out of my jurisdiction!

I have no idea what’s wrong with these kiddos! They just don’t like our microwave oven. I mean, gosh! It’s only from 1987 – hahaha! Ok, truth be told, they don’t like any of our kitchen appliances …and more truth be told, neither do I! If there’s one thing this house has provided us, it is lots and lots of stuff to make fun of and carry on about!

Back to the crazy microwave – this thing does the funniest (oddest) things to our food. You have to be very watchful and careful and also quite ready to just completely throw away your popcorn when you’re making microwave popcorn. Let’s say you pop it for 3:33 (that’s the time we used in our microwave when I was growing up!) …and it doesn’t get all the way popped. So the next time you put it for just 3 minutes. And it burns! Less time – and it burns!! Or better yet – man, this one really baffles me – you put it in for some amount of time based on your last experience, and it not only burns it, but, it also doesn’t cook it! What? Yes. It’s the funniest thing! The bag puffs up a little bit, to maybe about half an inch – so you know that popcorn is not popped! But on the bottom layer – it’s burned! Isn’t that just the craziest thing?!

It’s just nuts. And the dishwasher is just as nutty. And the oven, oh gawd, don’t get me started on that damn thing! Bake cookies at my house? Yeah, pfft – good luck with that one! You can make dinner, without much trouble – but, baking – nah. That doesn’t turn out so well. And the refrigerator is like an old lemon car, falling apart here, there, and everywhere. LOL

The kids and I went digging around, looking at every corner of these things looking for the years they were made. I think I found a 1987 on the oven, as well. It’s kind of hard to tell, because, of the way the numbers are – it might not really be a 1987 at all. But if it is, I think I figured out that the man who built this house – the only previous owner, went on a ‘fix up the house’ shopping spree in 1987 and then was such a penny pincher, that he never did upgrade anything. I’m surprised, really, that the appliances aren’t older than they are. From the picture we’ve pieced together of this man, he was not really a ‘spender’. I bet that year he just found some really good shopping deals and went for it! Or it might have been that his wife put her foot down. I can ‘see’ the conversation in my mind.

“John, we’ve lived here for twenty-six years now! These appliances need to be updated! You’re just being silly! Now let’s go compare shopping prices and see what we can find! I’m not going to live with these rickety things anymore!”

He was so into football and his army buddies, that kitchen appliances just were not on his list of priorities. I know a guy (kinda well) who doesn’t like to spend money on needs *ahem* – he’d much rather spend money on wants. I was just explaining that to his son the other day. Maybe John was like that, too.

One thing that I know that he did, in fact, try to update – is the plumbing. From what I’ve been told, he had multiple people out here that tried to fix it. And I’ll tell you what – if there’s one thing that makes me move out of this house faster than anything, it’s gonna be the plumbing. The showers here just plain SUCK! When I was at a hotel last week, I just stood in that shower and enjoyed. every. single. minute. of it!!!! And then I took another – and then I took another!! Hahaha!

I don’t know, I was thinking about it, but, there are so many things I wanna do online. I wanna get that snazzy razzy WordPress 2.5 on this blog and on Bookworm Broadcast and on Reliable Home Repair and Remodeling. And there are a million and one Hippie posts languishing in my head, as this place has been fairly neglected as of late. Oh, you noticed, did you? Well, heck – you think this place is neglected – my living room is stacked up with Christmas decorations!

Our living room is not exactly a room, yet. It is in mid-renovation, and the renovations are sort of – ok, completely – at a standstill. So the room is half torn up (half the pergo floor pulled up, half the door frames and stuff between the ceiling and wall taken off [what the heck is that called? some contractor's wife I am, huh? I'll think of it, gimme time! Besides, Mark'll be home soon - I'll just ask him, so there!]) and kind of just used for storage and stuff. The kids have their computer in there and I have a HUGE poinsetta in there, and a wooden rocking chair and that’s it. So don’t go thinking all my Christmas decorations are all up decorating my house or anything crazy like that! Sheesh! They’re piled up in neat piles on the floor in the corner of the room, on the hearth, and on the three card tables, ok? Good Heavens, whaddya think I am? A slouch?

So anyway, March 24th was Mark’s birthday and all he asked for was for those things to be boxed up. (It’s a thing with him, he buys himself CRAP all year, then doesn’t really let us buy him much for bday/Xmas.) And one thing after another happened last week that I didn’t get it done. Legitimate things. Really. I swear.

And I had SUCH a killer migraine on Sunday, that Monday I had the migraine hangover. Yesterday I have no excuse for whatsoever. Today I had some crazy TIRED attack, kinda like when you’re coming down with a sinus infection. Dead dog. That’s been me – all day. Weird.

Then about an hour ago, I took some Excedrin. Now I’m a bit hyped up. And I fully realize that I should get my ass in there and just clean up that stuff! But I have all these ideas in my head that neeeeeeed to be unleashed! I want to launch a hardcore social networking plan of attack for Mark’s site (listed above – Reliable…) and I also need to fix that site. First I got it WITHOUT the dashes – then I screwed up the WP install, royally. So I went ahead and bought the domain with the dashes, thinking that’d be better for SEO purposes, anyway. Mark and EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of his clients hate the dashes, with the burning, scorching heat of a thousand SUNS, though. So then I had a friend set up the UNDASHED site to redirect to the DASHED site and all was right in the world. Until a few weeks ago, when I noticed the redirected, dash-free domain was no longer redirecting. Gah. Back to square one.

However, I recently MANUALLY uploaded and installed WordPress on Bookworm. I even set up the freaking database all by myself! I was am so proud!!! And I figure that all that tinkering – successfully – could quite possibly mean that I could fix this whole RELIABLE REMODELING fiasco all by my smart self, too!

So there’s another cool online thing I wanna get to – and I’ve got several reviews to write. But alas, those bloody Christmas decorations are burning a hole into my back, screeching from the floor behind me – “Lisa, come now, come and box us up – hurry, get started, so then when he walks in and at least sees that you’ve begun, he’ll be so relieved…..Lisa, come….”

Damn holidays! I hate ‘em! We’re not getting these suckers out next year!

**UPDATE** I just got off the phone with Mark. He is at his brother’s house, helping him put up some CROWN MOULDING in the bathroom. Yes, folks – the stuff between the wall and the ceiling – CROWN MOULDING. Irritated I didn’t think of it on my own. Funny, though, that he mentions it before I get the chance to ask him. Or not. He is a contractor. So there you have it.

It’s driving me absolutely nutty having my living room in the basement, and having my living room half torn up and empty! I’m just getting so sick of it. It wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to go through the garage to get to the basement hangout room. I totally understand the reasoning for it – keeping it empty until we do the renovations so we don’t have a whole ton of furniture to move when it’s time to do the renovations. And so we don’t put off doing the renovations, because, we don’t feel like moving a ton of furniture. It’s just starting to really get to me. It would be nice to shop for some discount furniture and just get a couple of pieces, like maybe two soft chairs, so that we’d have someplace comfortable to sit up here, besides on our beds. We had a new thrift shop open up in town and it is huge. I’m keeping my eyes out there for some decent chairs. I’ll just be so glad when we can make this house our home. It sure would make this whole transition easier!

We moved from a house with two bathrooms to a house with three bathrooms, only to find that we can only use one! That is such s bummer! We can use the toilet and the sink in ours, but, we have to shower in the kids’/guest bathroom. And then there is a shower down in the basement. Mark has recently gotten that one working, but, I would love to have the one in our master bathroom working!

We have a really nice shower in there, too. It is stand-up shower, with no bath, and it is very large and looks like it would be very nice and comfy to shower in. And it would be easy to move around in – some stand-up showers are so tiny you can barely move. This is not like this at all. The only thing is that it doesn’t have a little seat in it – that would be really cool.

But we don’t even have the hardware in place right now for our shower. So I’ve been looking at some shower faucets online and I’ve found some really nice ones that I like.

Unfortunately, I think we actually have more of a problem than just needing the hardware. I can’t remember if it is a leak or what, I just know that I want to shower in my own room.

When we do finally get it working, I would love to have a hand-held shower head – those are so great!

I tell you what – if we got our own shower, and we could have a hand-held shower, I’d be one happy mama! I’d look like this guy:

Ever since the first time I saw a home theater (in person), I have just loved them! I would love to have one, with some big, comfy chairs, and a nice, dark, cozy room! It would just be the coolest! And having teens and a tween, wouldn’t they be the talk of the town? Wouldn’t that just be so awesome, to be a teenager, and have a home theater? You know the parties would always be at your house! (Yes, as an adult, that sounds exhausting…) But Mark and I have always welcomed children into our home, ever since they were babies! And to have our house be ‘the place to be’ when they are in those scary-teenage-could-be-getting-in-trouble years, would suit us just fine. Instead of all the kids being out and about causing trouble, they’ll be at our house having fun! And it really helps us to get to know their friends, when their friends hang out over here so much. And that, I think, is very important, too.

Leave it to me to go on parenting soapbox, when I just wanted to talk about home theaters! It would be amazingly cool, though, to have our own theater! And then when the monsters move out, it would all for me and Mark!

I wonder, though, where on earth do you go to buy home theater furniture?

This house we’ve moved into really has so much potential, but, it needs a LOT of work. And when I say a lot, I mean – a lot! Heck! Our septic tank is even broken and we’re just waiting for it to (ick!) overflow into the basement, because, we can’t afford to fix it. See, we need to get hooked up to city sewer, and that is going to cost a lot – a lot that we don’t have.

And this house is actually 2600 square feet, which to me is huge, but, – but – the first floor, where I spend 99.9% of my time, is only 1300 square feet. And this is where all my stuff is, too. And there’s just no place to put it all. I’d store a bunch of it downstairs, and bring it up slowly as we renovate, but, there’s that septic tank issue. Yeah. Ick.

With some money and some muscle, this is gonna be a totally kick ass house – really! It is on a HUGE lot, in a great location, and it’s just got a great set-up. If only some long lost great grandmother had left us an inheritance, and we were getting a payment each month from a structured settlement company, we could start using that to get started on some of these around-the-house jobs!

Until then, I guess we’ll just peck away at it little bit by little bit!

Oh my gawd! If it’s not one thing, it’s another, with this old house! Sammie came to me last week, one of our days of hosting a bunch of kids over! (Of course!) And said that the bathroom faucets were leaking underneath the cabinet in their bathroom. UGH! So then I had to drill it into six children’s heads, who were busy with water guns and water balloons, not to use the bathroom sink to wash their hands. I told them to come in the kitchen to wash up. The kids were so busy having a good time and were just so hyper, I don’t know that any of them heard me. Well, I take that back – I do know that Shawn heard me, because I saw him come in the kitchen to wash up yesterday morning. And by that time, he didn’t need to anymore. Hey – at least I know one of them actually heard me and remembered! Ha!

It’s kind of handy having a remodeler in the family. That is, if you’re the mother-in-law. What I mean to say is that, of course, my house doesn’t get a whole lot of remodeling – but, that figures, right? The remodeler of which I speak is my husband, after all – and that is just how things like that seem to work. But my mother, on the other hand – has had lots of cool stuff done to her house, by the master craftsman himself, my hubby. A few years back, he completely remodeled both of the bathrooms in my childhood home. And they are so beautiful! I was so glad that my mom saved the pictures that she had hanging in the now guest bathroom, which used to be the kids’ bathroom, and just had them reframed to match the new look. They are just two small, simple paintings with cute sayings on them, but, there is just something about them that says ‘my bathroom’ (and my brothers’, of course). Both of the bathroom vanities are completely different than they used to be, but, the one in the guest bathroom is totally awesome! I really like it! It is one solid piece of dark something-or-other, marble or something. So the counter-top and the sink are all the same piece. And the best thing about it is that it is a lot higher than most bathroom vanities. That is one of my biggest gripes with houses – why in the heck are the darn bathroom sinks so low? Do you know what a pain it is to wash your face with the sink so low? So that part of it, I just love! I can’t wait until I get to a point in my life where I am the one having remodeling done at my house! I shouldn’t complain because when we get home, he is going to try to get some stuff done at our house. And that will be really cool – like I will finally get to have a living room upstairs, instead of in the friggin’ basement! Yea!!