I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t. There are two popular trends these days that are just eating away at my very soul. They might even be killing me. I might be dying right now, as we speak. Every time I see one of them, my nerves go on high alert and my skin crawls. It kind of feels like a horrible, horrible itch that you just cannot scratch. It’s painful, people – painful.

SINFUL TREND ONE

The first sin trend is the way that a lot of girls are choosing to wear their hair. Duuuuuuude. Can’t take it – just can’t take it.

Look, girls – listen up! It doesn’t look good on Donald Trump and it doesn’t look good on you! That’s right, people – I’m talking about….

The Combover!!

I was watching a show yesterday (Psychic Kids) and one of the young girls on the show was ….so ….drastically …combed over that it was crazy! She had this GIANT clump of hair just swappppped right over the top of her head! I was going crazy!

Now listen, I’ll give in and say that some girls can do the comb over sorta cute – and women often do an even better job. And hell – Marilyn Monroe‘s comb over was gorgeous! (But she could make a paper bag gorgeous!)

But so many girls just look silly. Plain silly. Like you know when you just get out of the shower and you’re fixing your hair – maybe you’re blow drying it – and in the middle of the fixing – it does something crazy…. And that’s ‘it’ for them. That’s the ‘it’ thing. Or maybe when you’re swimming and you come up out of the water and your hair does the wacko thing – and that’s ‘it’ for them. Raiiiiight.

I dug around online for an image for this post and (shockingly) couldn’t find one. I did find this funny video though …I give you:

The Female Comb-Over

This sweet girl is going to show us all how to look like middle aged men – that is so super nice of her!

Too funny! Most of the girls I see are actually wearing their hair down, but, that was definitely close enough!

OMG, ya’ll! Noooo!! Even puppies are doing it! Comb Over Puppy Argggghhh!!

Poor little guy! Haha!

SINFUL TREND TWO

Now this next sin trend has me so off the wall bonkers that I can hardly see straight. I almost go into convulsions when I see it. I had to breathe into a paper bag yesterday afternoon at the college when I saw a young man embracing this abomination of a trend. It was touch and go there for a little while, people. You guys know what I’m going to say, don’t you? That’s right, folks, it’s ….

The Sagging Pants!!

For real, I can’t take it. I can’t. All I keep thinking about this one is that none of the trends in my day come even CLOSE to this in horribleness – there just is no way! I think about the things we would do (meaning my friends and I, my brothers were too smart for stupid trends!) and how they would get under my parents’ skin and I just laugh. I just laugh. There was a Guess miniskirt that was RIDONKULOUSLY too short, but, I have to admit – I’m not sure if my parents even knew that I had it. Surely they did – anyway, people have been wearing short skirts for a long time. And it was in my stoopid days. That skirt you could say maybe comes close. (Could be worse if you don’t sit properly! Ack!)

And then I think ‘and what about my parents’ day – and their “stupid” trends?’ – surely none of theirs were this bad either! There’s just no way. Sagging pants don’t even make sense – there is no logical explanation. There is no logical path the ‘trendsetters’ followed that led them to this nonsense. Is there? I mean, really – how could it have started? What were the originators doing? Thinking? Talking about?

So this one dude, Joe, lost a bunch of weight ….but was still wearing his old pants. They no longer fit. Obviously. He loved these pants, though – so he wore them anyway. His girlfriend said, “It’s so cool that I get to see your butt in broad daylight – in the middle of the city. What a treat.” And as they walked down the city streets, all the females they passed immediately turned and followed, their mouths agape – “This guy is hot!” “I can see his a$$!” “I want him!”

Is that how it happened? Are females who look at these exposed buttockses to blame for these ridiculous shenanigans?

Let me tell ya, it does get under my skin. It bugs me. I yell at my boys for even minimal sag. And that’s a lot, because, they are both quite thin. The other day at the college, though – that was it. That was the last straw. I was picking up the girls from tennis when three young men came out of the college gym. They were all in athletic clothes. One of the dudes was wearing athletic shorts – I guess they are basketball shorts, you know, those long-ish ones. I don’t remember what color the shorts were, but, I can sure tell you what color his UNDERWEAR was! His underwear was bright red. And on display. On display for the world. I just kept staring, because, I was completely shocked – this was the most ….um… how do you even say this? The most …extreme, I guess – version of ‘the sag’.

His shorts were down BELOW his butt – all the way underneath. I watched his butt cheeks go bouncing up and down and up and down as he walked away over to the apartments across the street. I could not stop watching. The girls got in the car and were laughing at me. Sammie said, “Mom, you’re so gross – you’re staring at some guy’s butt!” I was just so shocked that I couldn’t help it. It was almost like a ‘show’ he was putting on and everyone around was supposed to be staring at his bouncing red butt cheeks!!!!

See the dude in the middle there? That is just about EXACTLY what I saw walking down the street, in my sleepy little small town in the South. Below his butt cheeks!! Good gracious! I can only imagine what my grandmother would say! I can ‘hear’ her now carrying on in my head at the absurdity of it!

I found that picture on several blog posts from almost two years ago, when bloggers covered a story about Flint, Michigan trying to pass a law against this nonsense. I went to the Flint Police website to try to get a proper image for sharing and accreditation, but, I couldn’t find it. So I just linked it to the Flint Police site, if you’d like to go check it out. I also read that they are not the only city to attempt to pass a law on the subject. I’m unaware if any have succeeded. And I guess I would be torn about it, though at first I was cheering when I read about it earlier today. I’m just so fed up with seeing saggy pants that I was excited to read about the law stepping in. Now that I’ve had some time to cool down a bit, and have some ‘blog therapy’ ranting to ya’ll, I’m pretty sure I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

But let me tell you – I am darn sick of both of these horrible trends!!!!