We have two nights that we call ‘family TV night’ around here. They are the nights that there are four shows on that we all really like to watch. It’s pretty much the only time I watch ‘TV’ TV. Any other shows I watch get watched on Hulu. Or any time I miss those shows. But I digress. So last night – we were all in my room watching House and Lie To Me – two of the best shows on the planet – and Mark revealed to us that he’d released yet another mouse from the garage.

See – God did this funny, funny thing back in 1992. He hooked up a knife-loving, gun-loving hunter with a chick who feels really, really bad when she kills an ant. He (the Man upstairs) has been laughing ever since!

And a few months ago, we discovered we had a little mice issue. Surprising it took that long, really – since we moved from a heavily-populated city (Dallas – aww…I miss you!) to a rather rural small town in Northeast Alabama. I honestly thought we’d have mice pretty much from the get-go. Of course, they’ve got loads of ‘em in NYC (awww…NYC…you now how I love you!) …or are those just rats? Anyhoo – I digress, yet again. It could be the Zero Carb Rockstar – who knows… The ‘Drink of Digressions’ I shall now call it forevermore…

Mark’s first inclination was to just get ‘mousetraps’ – you know, of the devilish variety. Oh. my. gawd. Are you OUT of your ever-lovin’ mind?! No way on EARTH was I going to have a sweet little mousey down there SCREAMING in pain, because, one of its legs was hacked almost completely off in one of those damn things! No. way. And I do mean no. way. when I say no. way.

So not happening!

So he gave in and found some roach motel-type traps (withOUT poison) that would just get the little buggers caught inside them. Then he releases them in the woods across the street. Maybe this isn’t the best resolution to the problem, though – because, he also told us how he handles “the release”. He gives the box a nice, hard shake and then as he opens it he screams at the little mouse not to come back. Now, while I admit that the vision of that in my head is rather funny – maybe using something like Riddex would be a better solution for us. It would just keep the little buggers away completely and then this Redneck and this Hippie wouldn’t have to fuss with each other over it!

There is definitely plenty of other stuff for a Republican, hunting, Southern boy to argue about with his liberal Democrat, vegetarian, “All We Need Is Love” wife! And trust me, we do. Combine all that arguing with sitting here way too long at this desk every day, not moving around enough and you know what? I am tired and my feet are sore! I’ve always wanted one of those ’soak your feet, foot bath’ things, (been begging Southern boy for one forever) like maybe this Bioenergiser dtox and seeing how my feet are extra sore lately, now would be the perfect time to get one! And this one looks really cool!

Why are my feet extra sore lately? Because I banged up my right foot pretty darn good on a piece of furniture a couple weeks ago! I first had thought that I’d just broken my pinky toe. Good gawd, it hurt! But it seems that I’ve also done some kind of damage (maybe hardcore bruising or something) to my actual foot, too. I’ve been limping around for weeks. I look like a darn fool!

I’m wearing sandals – with socks – with the top strap OPEN on the right foot. My coolness is bubbling over.