Peace-Lovin’ Hippie Beats Me Daily!

Hey guys, this is Lisa’s laptop – “Lappy” as she calls me, how demeaning is that? What. ev. I just wanted to let ya’ll know the real truth about “Miss Peace, Love and Granola”! For someone who is so into peace and this “Can’t We All Just Get Along?” crap, she sure does a number on me everyday! I’m serious – she beats me every. single. day. She’s relentless! Pound, pound, pound away at my keys – day in and day out. I never. get. a. break. I’m sure if I wasn’t solid black, you could see all of my bruises. Just believe me, they are there. So don’t be fooled with all of her “Love One Another” fluffy, singing in the daisies talk. She is a monster.

You should see my desktop – every summer when she goes home, her parents mouths are more agape at the amount of goofy icons she has on there. She just can’t clean me up. And do you know why they are all on the desktop? Because My Documents is too filled up and messy and she’s afraid she’ll lose the latest, greatest thing she’s downloading in there! Oh. My. Gawd. It’s utterly ridiculous.

Her husband has warned her time and time again not to download so much crap all the time. But does she listen? Of course not!

You know, I’m really not even that old, but, I’m creaking around like a geezer in a nursing home. It’s a wonder I’m even strong enough to type out this post and tell you how ruthless and violent “Hippie” Lisa really is!

People like her deserve their fate of having to buy a new “Lappie” *eyeroll* every couple of years! But me, I wish I was more like the HP
HDX 16t, then maybe I could stand up to her beatings, you know?

And if she’d pay attention to me (doubtful), she would know about this:

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