Okay, so this is groovy. Yah, right. I found spam from Republicans in my email inbox. Umm….didn’t someone tell them I voted DEMOCRAT in the last two elections? Maybe they just didn’t get that memo. Maybe they’re hoping to send out emails randomly to Democratic voters, hoping to sway us by our accidentally ’stumbling’ upon their blessedly good information. Kind of like a wrong number that turns out good. You know?

But, to what, I ask, would they sway us? Did someone forget to tell them that the election is OVER.

We WON.

Give it up.

I particularly liked (NOT!) this line:

The Republican Party has always been the party of reason and hope

Can I just say? …that the implication of my unreasonableness and pessimism is not the best way to influence me to ’swing the other way’!

Image via WikipediaWhy do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone
believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, ‘It’s all right?’ Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That really hurt, why don’t you watch where you’re going?’

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE……
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Thanks to my MOMMA for sending me this email! These are awesome! Especially the durn bank one – darn those banks!!! LOL!!

It’s true! It’s true! I done learned it over there at that real good site, The Huffington Post! A real nice writer dude told me. His name is Andy Borowitz and he wrote an article on that there site all about it and I think it might just be a purdy gud thang. Serious!

See? See what he says here:

“Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement,” says Mr. Logsdon.

Just go read all about it over there yourself, for goodness sake! Obama’s Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy

I think you’ll be just as happy as I am about the whole thing!

UPDATE: I’ve got the most perfect update to this post. It’s a video from YouTube that is over a year old, but, helps us to see where we’ve been ….and where we’re going ……

Hahaha!!

What is this? You seriously want me to connect the arrows? That’s funny! The new voting ballots in some places (Calhoun County, AL, for one) require you to connect arrows to select your candidate of choice. I felt like maybe I’d gone back to preschool, or maybe kindergarten. LOL!

You can see an example of these new ballots here: Election Shenanigans Watch and there is a Flickr pic of one, too (which may be illegal…hmm…): Gotta Connect the Arrows Interesting…

And the ballot looked a lot different from the one I saw four years ago, in that there were so few things for which to vote. I realized, just a few minutes ago, that the reason for that is that I’m in a small town now and I was in a huge city last time I voted. Duh me!

It was a crazy day, though – completely crazy. Lots of fun and exciting, but, crazy. The kids had these ballots from Scholastic that had Obama and a box for a check mark and then McCain and a box and then one more box with a line next to it on which they could write the name of an independent, if they chose to vote for one. One child checked ‘Independent’ and on the line wrote: Hillary Clinton. Haha! Sounds like someone was not paying complete attention in history class, eh?

I was finished up helping with the sixth grade elections and Sammie asked me to come to lunch with her, saying that it was at 12:15. I thought, ‘Sure, I can do that – that will give me plenty of time to go vote and then make sure all the kids have what they need, are where they need to be, get picked up when they need it, etc.’ Turns out – she meant to say 1:15 – oops.

So then it was one hour later than I expected, and she was begging me to come to band class with her, right after lunch and listen to them play. I tried to get out of it at first, sort of arguing with her, and then I realized, ‘You know what? It’ll be fine. I’m never up here at school with her, I left a key out for the boys, voting goes until 7pm – it’ll all work out fine.’ So I stayed – and I really enjoyed listening to them.

Except for one thing – of course, I was breaking out in a migraine. Ay ay ay. Dang, my head! Maybe I should list it on Craigslist and just see if I can find myself a newer, better model.

It was fun listening to them, though. And the librarian had given me a book, too, so I was enjoying reading that, too. The book has a few pages out of order, so they gave it to me. I figure that will be half the fun, figuring out how it all fits. I am loving the book – it is so good! I’ll definitely have to blog about it at Bookworm Broadcast!

After band class, I was finally leaving the school. My plan was to walk to Burger King and eat my yummy veggie burger, about which I was so excited, and then walk to the church and vote. On the way there, however, I discovered that I didn’t have a ride for Sammie after choir. She stays later for choir days and so there is not a bus for that. And my ride plans for her fell through. So I’m starting to freak out just a little. I start calling people.

And I realized it was time to text Patrick and tell him about where I’d hidden the key for him and Shawn, since I’d forgotten to tell them in the morning. It was then that I was reminded by him that he was going home with a friend to work on a history project. Crap! It sounded to me like he was already at the friend’s house and I was afraid Shawn didn’t have his phone with him. I know Patrick takes his every day, but, I’m not sure if Shawn does. So I frantically start texting and calling him. And I’m picturing him showing up to the empty house, not knowing what is going on! I can’t even walk there in time to meet him, should I decide to ditch all my plans, because, it takes me thirty minutes to walk home! Crap!

Luckily, I got another text from Patrick saying they were still in the band room and that he would tell him. Whew! That’s one crisis averted. Now what about Sammie? Dangggit! I realize that I could just go eat at Burger King and relax there a while with my cool, new book and walk back to the school to get her on foot, and then she and I can walk to the church with plenty of time left for me to vote. She was not going to be happy about walking with her trumpet and all of her things, but, that was just all I had left in my bag of tricks.

Walking to the church was not too bad, because, it was all flat, but, then the rest of the way was all uphill. We live in an extremely hilly area – it is so beautiful, but, even the cars struggle sometimes, much less our poor feet! Heh! We had finished up at the church and we’re just about to face ‘the hill’ (not the most evil one, but, a pretty tough one) and we came upon this woman and her seventh grade daughter. I told Sammie to move and let them pass, as I’m sure they were going faster than we were. They were out for their evening walk and we were exhausted and carrying stuff.

The lady was so sweet, she slowed down and offered to carry stuff for us! I was shocked! So she carried Sammie’s trumpet and we walked almost all the way to our house with them. She was really sweet and I really appreciated it. It made the last part of the hard day of walking social and social always makes things more pleasant! So thank you, Marsha and Hayley!

This migraine is trying to kick my batooshka, but, I mustn’t let it! I absolutely HAVE to watch the returns! Seriously, either way this goes, this election is historical and just simply amazing!

So I’m off to vote today, I hope you are, too! We’re a one-car family, so I’ll be doing some walking today. I’ve got to go down to the Baptist Church down the hill from my house and vote, then go to the elementary school to help the kids with their ‘election’ (that the teachers are making as real-to-life as possible – cool!) and I thought I’d try to hit up the local Burger King for lunch. Only thing is, I don’t know if they serve the veggie burgers or not. *Crossing my fingers that they do!*

[Ok, the video is uploading to Viddler and it's not done yet - and I gotta go - so you'll just be hanging in suspense about that Veggie Burger for a while..... So sorry to do that to you, I know it's gonna make you crazy. But I think you'll be okay. Really. I'm outta here. Ya'll go vote!!!!!]

Ok, I finally made it home! Whew! Crazy and hectic day! Three kids going in three different directions (plus I needed to vote!) and I don’t have a car to get them any of those places and I wasn’t at home to ask neighbors for rides, but, it all worked out in the end.

And – dun dun dun! Here is my video from the morning: