God bless his poor little heart! I feel for him so much – he cannot go on a vacation! It’s true, I swear! Just watch this:

I know you must feel as badly for him as I do! He’s too busy saving the freaking world – he just cannot go on vacation. He, and they, are the only ones that know, you know! So sad – he’s only got $31 million freaking fracking dollars! Puh-lease! I’ve got $98 in the bank and a stack of bills on my desk totaling a lot more than $98. I wonder, since he’s too busy to spend his own damn money and take his beautiful wife and his precious daughter on a freaking fracking vacation – maybe he could send some of those Benjamins my way. Hey, maybe I could finally get Alabama Power off my ass!

Yo Tom – Alabama! I live in Alabama!

P.S. If that video gets pulled, you can watch it on Gawker.com, where it will NOT be pulled. Nope – no such luck!